So Drew at TheTattooedBookGeek and Gretchen at ChicNerdReads have been posting some poetry.
I am super shy (surprise, right?) and though I have a book review to write for The Shadow Queen, I have been asked to share some of my poetry with the world.
I put it off because it makes me feel super exposed…but then I figured, you guys are so supportive…you wouldn’t mock an old lady, would you? (That’s right…my fifth 29th birthday is Wednesday!)
Ahem…so here’s one that I wrote when I was on drugs and it was published in my college publication, Running Out of Ink. The formatting isn’t as I would like bc I’m on my iPad, so I did my best to try to convey it as I meant it.
Drowning
A surging storm swells inside me
I am drowning
Bathed in beautiful pain
Choked by relentless rain
Tempted by thoughts of surrender
I am drowning.
Endless
The undertow swallows me deep
I am drowning
Soothed by promising lies
Cried on by darkening skies
Calmed by the chaos of currents
I am drowning.
Listless
The storm screams at my silence
I am drowning
Released from the burdens of life
Saved by a forgiving knife
Rocked in a cradling wave
Receiving peace I had craved
Knowing the battle was won
Kissed by the solicitous sun
Stroked by the softening sea
Permitted to finally be free
I have drowned.
This is how I felt on drugs.
I have other different types I could have shared, but this one means the most to me. I know it is short, but if you want more after this, then I will share more. (Though I must warn you, most are a little dark).
So…whaddaya think? 😳
I FUCKING LOVE THIS SO MUCH STEPHANIE!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!! *hugs you* this better not be your last poem!
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It won’t be with this reaction! ☺️☺️☺️☺️
Thank you so much….my mom hates poetry and there’s really no one to judge for me. Lol.
But I love this reaction! I’ll keep em coming! 😘
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Fuck anyone who judges you. Don’t ever be silenced.
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Can you follow me around and take care of those who do? I could use someone like you around!
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lol!
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You’re really talented! 😉
I mean, really good job! You go, girl!
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Awww. You’re making me blush.
I felt so sad back then and it’s harder to write as much now bc I’m so happy, lol. But it was a dark time for me.
I’m glad you liked it. 😊😊😊
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I’m sad to hear about your dark times, but I am glad that they are behind you now. Even if it’s harder to write now, it’s great to hear you are happy. That is what matters most!
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Yes, it does help me remember why I stopped using and got clean. It was a very dark time and I was very unhappy. But I still can draw from those experiences and write bc I can remember them like it was yesterday. I try to write it out when I feel blue.
Thanks for the positive words and you made me feel so warm and appreciated! 😊😊😊
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As Mr Mackay would say in Southpark, drugs are bad m’kay??😀
Ha, you’re not the only one who is shy Stephy! Under the sarcasm and occasional asshole like tendencies I’m shy too!
The poem is freaking awesome, absolutely amazing, you have a talent!
And, dark poetry rules!
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Thank you, Drew. This especially means a lot coming from you.
It’s hard to judge if it’s any good: my mom hates poetry and everyone else thinks it’s so dark! Well, I was in a dark place. “Relapse,” my other favorite, is longer and darker.
I switch up my poetry too so no two are alike. I hope you like the next one I post…I think the first was the hardest!
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Dark poetry rules, you can always find meaning in dark poetry, it generally bleeds emotion. Your poem was great though, really good, worth the wait for both me and Gretchen.😀
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Thank you, Drew! I just didn’t want people to be like, “Oh, it’s good,” when it was really a stinker.
So I will put more up, but I will wait a couple of weeks so no one thinks I’m going to go kill myself with how dark my writing is! 😂
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Lol, I’m fairly sure that I have written poetry that could be construed as a suicide note in a poem and dark poetry rules. 🙂
No, it was really good, me and Gretchen have both given you are seal of approval and we know poetry. 🙂
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Well, that’s true…you guys know poetry. I accept your seal of approval!! 🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️
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I love it!!
Isn’t it weird how poetry is so much “easier” when you’re needing to get emotions out. I wrote in high school because I was so mad/unhappy/sad, but haven’t touched poetry in nearly 15 years lol.
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It is so much easier. My stuff now is a little cheesier (I’m sure you’ll see the difference). I guess I was very creative when I was using! 😂
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Thats a really good poem steph!! can really feel your emotions!! **Hugs** keep writing girl!!
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Thank you Tiff! This means a lot to me! It’s hard to show those painful feelings from back then. I put it on Livejournal awhile ago, but I no longer use that site really. I don’t think anyone does much anymore!
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No problem. I haven’t even heard of live journal so it must not be that popular!!
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It was a LONG time ago!! 😂
Back in MySpace days!
I feel old again! 😫
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Your not old Stephanie!!
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Lol! (You know you’re my favorite, right?) 😘😘😘😘😘
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Haha thank you 😘😘
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Even though it conveys a difficult, sad message (thank you for sharing!), I think it’s a really great poem and you should definitely publish more of your works! ❤
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Thank you so much! It was published in the small college magazine but it broke my heart because they published the stanzas out of order! They swapped two and three which makes it lost meaning.
I’d like to publish my writing but I never thought it was any good! 😳
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Well, i hope you gave the newspaper hell for messing up your poem!
Teach… you have a platform (here), you have a loving audience (us) so bring your writing on! 🙂 You could be your very own worst critic… but don’t let you, hold you back! 🙂
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Thank you!! You are such a convincing person! Makes me feel pretty good! Especially since Anne hasn’t been around to bust my chops!
Thanks for reminding me I have you guys! I wish I could give you a big hug. I guess it will have to be virtual. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
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Wow! Amazing! Well done!
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Thank you so much! You guys make me feel so special lol!
It was hard to post this up here. But I figured if others could, then maybe I could, too? 🤔😳
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This is an amazing poem Stephanie, and I definitely hope to see more like this from you because I’d love to read them! 🙂
Also congratulations on posting it as well. It must have been hard to put yourself out here like that but honestly it was amazing! 😀 ❤
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It was hard.
One of the things I was afraid of? People saying it was good to be nice. I see that all the time. I’ve read some bad poetry (I’m not even being subjective here…it was BAD) and people were saying how great it was. If it stinks, I want to know, damnit!!
Do you really think it’s good? Honestly? I’ll still love you no matter what you say.
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I suppose that’s a standard thing to be afraid of, but honestly I did love it Stephanie. I’ve yet to read a poem I didn’t like but there are some bad ones I’ve seen and some I didn’t understand myself because I studied them in school and they were written hundreds of years ago. I think poems are better when they come from somewhere real and yours did so I wouldn’t worry. I loved it and I’m sure everyone else did. 🙂 ❤
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Thank you. I trust your opinion so much. I think it’s that low self-esteem kicking in and rearing its ugly head, lol! You made me feel so much better…as usual! 😘
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That’s all right, and yeah I think we all have moments like that but trust me it’s definitely not something you need to worry about in this case! 🙂 ❤
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Wow….I totally love it! 🙂
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Thanks so much! I was so worried people would think it sucked! 😂
I’m very shy when it comes to my writing so it means so much to me that people like my poetry. 😊
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This is great!! And, as a side note, it can be very daunting to put your writing out there in the world. Poetry in particular can be extremely personal and it’s a little like baring your soul. So thank you for for sharing it. I, for one, would love to read more of your work!
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Wow! This means a lot coming from you especially as you are an author! I’m blushing but also floating! Thank you so much for the kind words! Means THE WORLD to me!
I’ll share some more then in the future! The first was the hardest and I didn’t want people to tell me something was good just to be nice. You know?
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You did just fine young lady! Well done, you get an A+
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Thank you, fine sir! Appreciate the grade! I’m always nervous about sharing my personal writing, but this was quite a nice reception so I’m going to have to share some more! 😘
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You should, though keep in mind your source…. I’m a hack! 😉
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You’re not a hack, lol! 😂🤣😂
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Aww, be still my heart!
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Wow Stephanie.. I am pretty much at a loss for words, but I am going to try. This was so powerful as I could feel how personal it was. I found myself rereading this and completely amazed and moved. Please share more often! ❤ ❤ ❤
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Wow, thank you so much! That is THE NICEST thing I have heard about my writing. It means so much to me. Really. It warms my heart that I could connect with you this way.
Thank you, Danielle. Truly.
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Always and I really do hope we see more of this side of you ❤
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You asked for it!!
😜
😂🤣😂😇
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Great poem Stephanie! Sad yet powerful!
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Thank you…it was hard to share. But Drew and Gretchen wouldn’t let me avoid it, lmao!! 😂😂😂
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Lucky you shared because it turned out great!
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Still very surprised about that tbh!! 😊
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Wow. You are so talented! Beautiful!!!
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Thank you so very much! This is all so new to me to hear this! I was so shy to post this and now I feel like I should have sooner! Thank you for reading it. ☺️
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Powerful words Stephanie, I’m glad you are in a much healthier place in life now. I’d love to see more of your poetry around, don’t hold back! The cat’s out the bag! we know you can write & like Gretchen commented…never be silenced 😉
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Appreciate it, Lilly. I was in a very dark place. Writing helped me get those dark feelings out. Blogging is a new cathartic experience for the happier version of me, but I have a well from which to draw upon if I ever need to write from that place again.
I will put more up now that I’ve seen such a positive reaction! I was surprised. Many people in my family who have read my writing are dismayed by it. So I keep it tucked away. But thank you for giving strength to my voice! 😘😘😘
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THIS IS SO GOOD?????? I feel like I can really relate to some of the words you wrote too. You should be super proud of sharing this because I know it coudn’t have been easy! definitely want to see more ♥
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Thank you, Lauren! Wow, it means a lot that you could connect with my words. It was definitely not easy to share! But now that I know people liked it, I WILL share more! 😉☺️😉
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I really love that poem. You should post some more poetry!!!
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Thank you!! That means a lot to me!
I will share more then! ☺️☺️☺️
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Good! I’ll definitely read them!
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This is an amazing poem, Stephanie! You should definitely post more, I know I would love to see more. 💕
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Well, then I will post more then! I am surprised and warmed by the response I’ve received,
I just didn’t want ppl to say it was good when it sucked, so I was worried. But if people really do like it, I will def post more of them!
Thank you for the support!
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Yay! 😁 And I get what you mean but it really is a great poem. I applaud you for getting the courage to post your writing. It’s definitely scary putting yourself out there and I’ve yet to be able to get up the courage myself.
You’re welcome!! 💕
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Thank you so much for sharing such a personal poem. I was blown away by how raw it was. I think the poems that are on the darker side are the ones that invoke a stronger emotional reaction from the reader. I hope you will share more in the future.
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I will now that I know people appreciated it. Thank you: you make me brave enough to share more! ☺️☺️☺️
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You are so talented! What really grabs me is how raw your feelings are. Thanks for sharing this with us. ❤
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Wow, thank you!! I am so happy you stopped by and read it! You’re gonna make me blush. ☺️☺️☺️
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Wow, that’s amazing stuff! You have a great poetic voice, Steph. I’m sorry I’m so late to the poetry party, but so glad you shared with us. And that you are able to say “was on drugs” instead of “am on drugs” ❤️
P.S. Happy BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! 😀
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Thank you!! Yes, it’s been more than 8 years sober and I’m feeling’ fine!!
Thanks for liking it. It means a lot to me. Truly.
My birthday went by fast…but I guess that’s what happens when you get old! My only bday wish: that my tax return arrives soon so I can buy cool books lmao! 😂😂😍
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That is so awesome! It’s a rough cycle and I’m so glad to hear you escaped it- and are now here, making the book o’sphere a much happier place 😀
Yes, the book lover’s dream: THE TAX RETURN lol
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Thank you!
And yes…every day feels painful as I wait for the min it hits the bank and I can buy books and do a giveaway!! Argh! 😫🤣
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This is beautiful and raw, Stephanie. And I absolutely love it! Thank you so much for posting this…
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Thank you so much. It means a lot coming from a friend. I hope people really like it and are not just saying it, because I will post more if you guys do.
I appreciate you giving it a read. ☺️
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You’re very welcome, Steph. Please continue posting your work!
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I will then! Thanks! ☺️☺️☺️
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This is amazing! Even if the formatting wasn’t how you would have preferred, the different font sizes worked really well. “Kissed by the solicitous sun” is such a beautiful line. Really well done!
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Thank you! That really means a lot to me. Especially as you are a new visitor! 😊
I try my best on the blog to format but it’s harder as I do all my blogging from a mobile device. Even the design: all done from an iPhone or iPad. I’m glad you liked it.
So glad to meet you officially! Always nice to make new blogger friends!
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I don’t usually care much for poetry but this one was actually pretty good 🙂 I think because it’s so personal and conveys your thoughts in such a deep way, it’s very difficult not to feel something while reading it.
So it gets a gold star from me 😉 (Dark poetry is usually the best poetry!)
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Ooh, a gold star ⭐️!! Yay!
Yes, those were some dark days…but at least I got some good poetry out of them, lol!
I’m so happy you liked it bc I didn’t want people to say they did and then not. I know a lot of people are too nice to say they don’t like something so I was hesitant to share…but I trust your judgement! Thank you 😊
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