To Megan…A Dedication

I normally don’t do posts like this…I have lots of book reviews to write and the rest of my ALAMW trip to tell…but I felt it necessary to share with you a person that was taken too soon. A person that was a good friend and that I will miss dearly.

Her name was Megan. People also knew her as BookSlayerReads – she had a blog and Instagram and recently started a candle business that she was very excited about. She also had recently changed some of her names to FictionintheClouds. We formed a group awhile back for reading Harry Potter, and we (my friends Sammi, Tiff, and I) were very close. We talked about her family, we talked about our book obsessions. We talked about everything. She and I would even talk about personal stuff from time to time.

When I found out she was gone, I couldn’t believe it. Not only that, but she had been gone for two weeks! I was devastated. Prob shouldn’t have learned about this while I was driving. I wanted to talk to her, to hear it wasn’t true. It couldn’t be! Yes, we hadn’t talked in awhile, but she was busy! I didn’t want to bother her. Now I regret that decision.

And this made me think a lot about our friendships over social media.

I feel like I know many of you so well. We talk or DM on Twitter, on Facebook, on Goodreads, in the comments. We make small talk and send kissy face 😘 emojis and we are always saying “I love you!”

But if I was to disappear tomorrow, would any of you know? I’ve had several friends who have disappeared off of social media. Maybe they moved on, got married, stopped loving books…but what if they are GONE?? Passed away and I never knew. What if I was to go? Would you wonder what happened to me or would you just figure I was taking a break or done blogging?

I made my mom promise to message on my phone if I was to pass away. A friend sent me her phone number so we can always get in touch. But is it enough? No, not really. Not to me.

I always take you guys for granted. I assume you’ll always be there. I’ve made new friends and stopped talking to others: it’s just the nature of life. But with social media, I haven’t met many of you in real life. Are we really that close if I’m just text on a screen? Did I even really know Megan? Do I have a right to grieve??

Many of her accounts have been taken down. I only have several screenshots and the blog is gone, instagram is gone. It’s like she’s being erased. So I had to post this. I have to say something. Because she meant something to me. To me and to Sammi and to Tiff. We were her friends. And we genuinely miss her.

I know you don’t realize it, but I’m not a social person in real life. Many of you are my “real” friends even though we have never met. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. I know that it might not be the same for you as I’m sure many of you have friends that you’ve known or hang out with. I have met a couple of you at conventions but that is it. But those interactions are my true treasures.

I don’t want to put up any pics about anything else because though this makes me contemplate the “realness” of social media friendship, this post is still about Megan. She had a husband and a son she left behind. She left behind a family. And she left behind some Bookish people who will remember her positive attitude and her silly wit.

I will miss you, Megan. I wish I had known you better.

And I hope I conveyed how much you all also mean to me.

Short and sweet. When I say I love you, do you know I really mean it? Because I do.

60 thoughts on “To Megan…A Dedication

  1. OmG, I had no idea Megan was gone. This really hit me. I will miss her dearly.
    We were really good when she started blogging, but after I started a new job in a publishing house, I kinda stopped being active in the blogosphere.
    Your post and Megan’s death really make me think about my connections with other fellow bloggers and now I wish I talked to her more often and also makes me miss some of my favorite bookish people I talked to on regular basis, you and Jasmine from How Useful It is being two of them.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m sorry to hear about Jasmine and you, I don’t know what happened so I won’t take sides, but I guess you both have your reasons.
        I will be visiting more often bc I really miss you and some of my bookish friends, but I don’t think I will be too active on my own blog, not as much as I was before. But I’ll try.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Beware Of The Reader

    I can’t believe she is gone! I did her Standalone Sunday for months and talked about her blog as an example. I’m so so sad truly! What you say about friendship online is true too. I’ve been talking with some friends on social media for years now, some I’ve recently met in London and we say so much when we write. I dare say we even know these persons better sometimes than meeting them in “real life” asthere is no judgement. I’m sorry for Megan’s family and I’m deeply sorry for you.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Oh my steph! That post made me cry 😭When you told me I didn’t believe you at first cause how can someone be taken so young! I will miss our group chats so much and wish we could have talked to her more! I also made my mum and my sister promise to inform you all if anything were to happen to me! I love you girls so much and it’s upsetting when tragedy’s like this happens!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. thebookprophet

    I knew about someone in the blogging community named Megan passing, but I never thought it was this Megan – I hadn’t heard from her in so long and I thought it was because she was busy as well and this is just – I don’t even know what to say. She was one of the first bloggers I talked to and this is all overwhelming – she will be deeply missed.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. novellover97

    Jesus can’t believe it Steph. I didn’t know Megan for long but she was a bright bubbly young woman and she and her family will be in my prayers tonight. If you ever need to talk don’t be afraid to send me a message. My thoughts are with you all.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am glad you wrote this post my beautiful friend! We have suffered a big loss in our community. My heart is heavy. I hope we don’t have to experience this again. I love how close a lot of us have gotten and I would hope we would all take notice if one of us disappeared without saying anything. It’s crazy to think about and it makes me sad to think about not being able to talk to you or my other close blog friends! ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Kee the Reader

    This feels so weird because just today I searched for her blog and her instagram only to see that they were no more. I thought maybe she had changed her name or something! I’m so sad that this happened.
    This was well written, Steph.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. littlebookynook

    This post made me so sad. I’m honestly so sad that you didn’t find out for two weeks….sometimes I think people don’t realise how close internet friendships can be. I’m sad that her wordpress and Instagram are down…because like you said it’s kind of like she has been erased. And she put up such beautiful posts on IG and her blog.

    And can I just say, you absolutely 100% have a right to grieve and be sad. She was your friend, no one can take that away from you. This is a beautiful post xx

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I thought the same thing as you ❤ it's strange the way social media can cause such a disconnect (regarding the oh they've probs taken a break from online) but also cause people to be so close, I love my online friends so much and I'm going to miss megans blog. I told my partner if anything ever happens to me to leave all my posts up anyway. Great post ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This post has me in tears, because I’m the same way. All of my friends are online (I’m not social in rl either) and I haven’t heard from one of the since October of last year. I have no other way to contact her other than twitter. I don’t know if she gave up blogging or something else. This hits home so much and shows we shouldn’t take any form of friendship for granted.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m glad you wrote this…and I understand so many of your sentiments. We just met and it was just as you heard this news; I already can feel the raw emotion coming from you. This is a wonderful post.
    I know you will get through this stronger and this dedication is so well-written and appropriate. Every loss is sad and it’s no less so because we don’t get to be near the person who we lost. Somehow people seem to think that means we won’t feel grief. It makes it more confusing…
    I often wonder too, in this disconnected world, whether people will notice when I’m gone unless some grand announcement is made online. I don’t see many people in person ( don’t have a regular job, I have a chronic illness that keeps me at home a lot, no family is near me, and I have steered away from social media a lot, especially Facebook, particularly doing so when feeling ill or depressed). When my illness has kept me away from people and stuck at home even recently, and even needed help, no one batted an eyelid or even noticed. It was sobering. I can totally understand how this brought up this stuff for you too.
    I hope Megan – who I don’t know at all – rests in peace and that everyone who knew her can look back and recognize the amazing person who has left this world too soon.
    Hugs to you Stephanie x

    Like

  12. So sorry to hear about your loss. And yes, it IS your loss, even if it was an online friendship… I have actually thought about this kind of thing myself — as online friendships are important to me, too. Take care and try not to grieve too much. In a weird way I guess we all live on in cyberspace.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I’m so sad and upset by this news. She was one of my first followers back when I just started blogging, she was always so sweet and supportive and I feel like I didn’t appreciate it enough and sort of took her support for granted. We never really talked except for those few comments on our blogs but she was always so nice and passionate.
    Thank you for your post. I knew from Twitter already but I haven’t stopped thinking about it. Like you said, this could happen to any of us and we might never know. It’s so scary.

    Like

  14. This is so sad but such a wonderful tribute to Megan. She was such an encouragement to me when I first started blogging 18 months ago. I used to take part in Standalone Sunday and loved the comments she left and the excitement she had for the books I shared. I even read one of the books she recommended to me, a horror book that I wouldn’t normally have tried but I found on NetGalley. I know exactly what you mean about online friends, they are important as we do interact with each other just not face to face. Thanks for sharing this I’m going to share on my blog as a tribute to Megan xx

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pingback: To Megan … A Tribute to a Wonderful Book blogger – Secret Library Book Blog

  16. Oh my goodness! I had no idea she was gone. So sad, she had a wonderful blog and I really enjoyed reading her posts.

    What a beautiful post you’ve written and it’s so true as well. You really don’t think about any of that. It’s a wonderful troubles to Megan and she will be missed.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Carmen - books.bottles.and.babies

    This is beautiful! I didn’t know her well or in real life, but I considered her a “real” friend. This bookish community is a very big part of a lot of our lives and for many of us it’s where we have found people we can relate to and a support system. Maybe it’s time I stopped taking that for granted. Megan was so supportive of everyone, I want to use her as an example and do my part to bring this community closer together.

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  18. This makes me so sad! Megan was one of the first people to follow me on Twitter. I didn’t know her well, and we didn’t chat much, but she was always so sweet whenever we did. I had no idea she passed away. 😦 Thank you for writing this lovely tribute… I would never have known otherwise.

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  19. Oh, this is so sad… I’ve thought about this sort of stuff time and again – a lot of my good friends are friends I only know from online – like this. It makes you wonder, what WOULD happen… Condolences about Megan. Of course you have a right to grieve – everyone does, if they’ve lost someone who has left a hole in your soul – doesn’t matter if they were super close or just good acquaintances, it’s still someone who has left and who you wish hadn’t. In the end though, I’m glad you found out at all. It might have not happened. Shocking though 😦 to know that someone young, someone ‘one of us’ is just gone like that. *hugs*
    Thanks for writing this post. I feel like it’s good to talk about these things in our community.

    Liked by 1 person

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