To Megan…A Dedication

I normally don’t do posts like this…I have lots of book reviews to write and the rest of my ALAMW trip to tell…but I felt it necessary to share with you a person that was taken too soon. A person that was a good friend and that I will miss dearly.

Her name was Megan. People also knew her as BookSlayerReads – she had a blog and Instagram and recently started a candle business that she was very excited about. She also had recently changed some of her names to FictionintheClouds. We formed a group awhile back for reading Harry Potter, and we (my friends Sammi, Tiff, and I) were very close. We talked about her family, we talked about our book obsessions. We talked about everything. She and I would even talk about personal stuff from time to time.

When I found out she was gone, I couldn’t believe it. Not only that, but she had been gone for two weeks! I was devastated. Prob shouldn’t have learned about this while I was driving. I wanted to talk to her, to hear it wasn’t true. It couldn’t be! Yes, we hadn’t talked in awhile, but she was busy! I didn’t want to bother her. Now I regret that decision.

And this made me think a lot about our friendships over social media.

I feel like I know many of you so well. We talk or DM on Twitter, on Facebook, on Goodreads, in the comments. We make small talk and send kissy face 😘 emojis and we are always saying “I love you!”

But if I was to disappear tomorrow, would any of you know? I’ve had several friends who have disappeared off of social media. Maybe they moved on, got married, stopped loving books…but what if they are GONE?? Passed away and I never knew. What if I was to go? Would you wonder what happened to me or would you just figure I was taking a break or done blogging?

I made my mom promise to message on my phone if I was to pass away. A friend sent me her phone number so we can always get in touch. But is it enough? No, not really. Not to me.

I always take you guys for granted. I assume you’ll always be there. I’ve made new friends and stopped talking to others: it’s just the nature of life. But with social media, I haven’t met many of you in real life. Are we really that close if I’m just text on a screen? Did I even really know Megan? Do I have a right to grieve??

Many of her accounts have been taken down. I only have several screenshots and the blog is gone, instagram is gone. It’s like she’s being erased. So I had to post this. I have to say something. Because she meant something to me. To me and to Sammi and to Tiff. We were her friends. And we genuinely miss her.

I know you don’t realize it, but I’m not a social person in real life. Many of you are my “real” friends even though we have never met. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. I know that it might not be the same for you as I’m sure many of you have friends that you’ve known or hang out with. I have met a couple of you at conventions but that is it. But those interactions are my true treasures.

I don’t want to put up any pics about anything else because though this makes me contemplate the “realness” of social media friendship, this post is still about Megan. She had a husband and a son she left behind. She left behind a family. And she left behind some Bookish people who will remember her positive attitude and her silly wit.

I will miss you, Megan. I wish I had known you better.

And I hope I conveyed how much you all also mean to me.

Short and sweet. When I say I love you, do you know I really mean it? Because I do.